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From: [email protected] (Eugene Mosburg)
Newsgroups: alt.cyberpunk
Subject: Re: Poly's Pantry
Date: 2 Sep 1995 20:33:21 GMT
Organization: In Finem Dilexit
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Message-ID: <[email protected]>
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sweet Poly ([email protected]) wrote:


It should have been this easy for Castaneda, that thorny dilemma of
*finding his spot*. Different for him, tho'; he attempted it alone by
himself in the desert, didn't reckon with the demands of sociability,
pie production, dilation of bandwidth. Little was left to Gene's
imagination or conjecture, just hadda move at the right moment.

It had begun all inconspicuous, but the momentum soon built to a
raging dive off a digital platform ...

: There had been enough blackberries, thanks to Lisa's conscripted labor,
: that there had been cobbler, as well as pie, and the kitchen had been a
: mess. The daemons usually took care of flour on the floor, but sometimes
: Poly had a "domesticky" fit, and went into a cleaning frenzy -- usually
: when she needed to keep busy. The place had been pretty noisy, with lots
: of screaming and shouting and clash of swords, but, like Morticia Adams,
: Poly liked to hear the sounds of guests enjoying themselves.

Noisy enough, sure to say, on the scale of demolition or heavy metal
bands maxing out in an open arena, but Gene couldn't banish the
nagging suspicion that the volume was in decline. This warranted
further investigation. He was a total washout in the kitchen, and so
made a move to take out the trash -- the pale compliment a career slob
pays to the conscientiously neat. "'Scuse me, Poly ... back in a
flash."

: >Poly checks that the kitchen is clean as a whistle and hangs her apron on
: >a peg. She's about to head off to her dressing room to pick a nice
: >walking dress for her twilight walk with Sourcerer, when she hears a whine
: >and some scrabbling in the Pantry.
: >
: >"If he's let his "pets" loose in my Pantry again", she mutters as she
: >opens the Pantry door and flips on the light switch.

Gene had been hoping to see those bee-mice of Sourcerer's, wondered
whether they would get along with the ant-bunnies and beetle-wombats
Ed brought him last month. Cute little critters, the lot of them,
finally trained only to bite though skin and surface musculature
instead of going straight down to the bone. Progress is progress,
especially in something so playful with fangs *that long*. Gene hides
in the pantry's shadowy corner as Poly enters, doesn't know how she'll
react to the prospect of the small menagerie growing to a herd.

: ...half expecting to see large hairy bats, or glittering-eyed gorgoyles,
: she's no less appalled at the sight revealed by the light.
:
: >And there she finds a pitiful sight...Sourcerer on the floor, huddled in
: >the corner, his fingers in his mouth, sniggering and slobbering vilely.
: >
: >"Tsk! It's the blood lust again, isn't it?"

A gentle whispering breeze accompanies the parting of n-dimensional
space. "Seen those symptoms before?" Ed asks. He customarily
arrives when needed most, today dragging an enormous magnetic bottle
contaning Gene's pets, lightly sedated. "Nothing like this happens by
accident. There's been scary dips and surges in available bandwidth
for months now. The Backbone keeps as stable as it can, but whole
.edu and .com sites flip in and out of ordinary 'Net proximity, into
Cyberhyperspace. They pass through vectors I've only recently mapped
in the DreamScape. They're welcome enough, there's always room for
more company, but you can imagine the effect w/o the right interface:
the digital equivalent of a high G-force game of "Crack the Whip".
It's work enough to ride out when you know it's coming, but any other
way -- just take a look:

: It's easy to tell -- Sourcerer is spattered with blood and coated with
: dust. Yuk! *What* have you been doing?!"
:
: >"heheheheheeheeeeeeeeeee!...mmmotley...ttttttechniiiicalll
: >boyyyyy.......OOmar...hahahahaahaneefffffff.....heeeeheheh
: >eheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!...Pollllecat......irony........dydydyd
: >dydddyssssstt...........heheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeheheheheheee!!!!!"

"You're right, Ed; Source was eating that action for breakfast until
recently. None of what he's mentioning could account all by itself
for that hard a reaction, not even all of it in the aggregate.
What's the fix?"

"Put a Junior Mint under his tongue and slip out the window."

Ed sneaks out the window with Gene onto the porch, the two of them
moving around ninja-style minus the violent intent.

: Poly's seldem seen Sourcerer in this bad a state. His leather tunic and
: leggings and boots are all spattered, and his long silver hair is wild
: and standing on end. He looks like a lion back from the kill, except
: that he's obviously over-indulged.
:
: >"Urmm...ahem...very nice place you've got here...yes...yes, indeedy."

"Indulgence would be pleasant compared to what he's going through,"
whispers Ed. "Bandwidth depletion superficially resembles
intoxication, with none of the more relaxing side effects."

: >"Just breathe deep and slow, dear...there...isn't that better?"
: >
: >"Yes. Yes it is, thank you...uh...could I have a sandwich, please?"
: >
: >Sweet Poly looks at him skeptically, and glances around...there's nobody
: >in sight who might get him roused, so she feels it safe.
:
: She doesn't even want to *think* about what will happen if the punks find
: him there. His sword is on the porch at his feet, and Sweet Poly worries
: about the white wicker furniture and Gene's hammock in the event of more
: fighting. Maybe she can get them to take it out to the cow pasture...

After Source and Poly head back inside, Gene throws himself off the
porch, hastily wraps the hammock around two polycarbon rods, runs up
Poly's driveway in a frenzy of excitement. The project at hand
demands a certain over-reaching. He wishes (not for the last time)
that Nesta were here to provide suggestions and warnings.

At the beginning of Poly's driveway, the entrance to her land, he
proceeds a stone's throw down the road to the south and prepares for
action. He sets up the polycarbon rods and stretches the hammock
between them, lays back easily to plan the first phase of the scam.
It is indeed time for a little biz. Oldest game of all: a moment to
learn, a lifetime to master -- but only a matter of days to whip into
shape if the bandwidth around Poly's porch is gonna dilate back to the
proper flow.

Gene pulls a Swiss Army knife from the pocket of his tunic, flips out
the longest of the blades, waits until he sees two boys walking down
the road with fishing poles slung over their shoulders and a fine
catch of wide-mouth bass flopping about in a wicker creel. He salutes
them with a lazy smile.

"Afternoon, young gentlemen. Could I perhaps interest you in a game
of mumbly-peg?"

Country boys have a whole different set of instincts from
city-dwellers. Neither kid shows the least alarm at the drawn knife.
Fella looks harmless, kinda thrashed actually, and he's wearing a
*brown bag down to his knees*. Geez! 'Sides, the older one went to
St. Crispin's grade school, had a math teacher dressed just like this
yahoo in the hammock, and *that* guy couldn't find his butt with both
hands and a flashlight. Must be more of the same.

Gene preys on such mis-readings.

He lifts himself out of the hammock, hands the knife, handle first, to
the first boy after they agree to a rather steep wager. The amount
does not matter, 'cause he's not interested in cash at all. It's all
in the fine art of horse tradin'. The kid smiles, confident, knows
he's gonna take home a little extra this afternoon.

Gene's grandfather taught him well. Taking turns, he executes all 20
levels of knife-play before the kid has made it past #9. "That's
really more cash than you can afford to lose all at once, isn't it,
friend?" he asks softly. The boy allows, red-faced, that this is so.
"I purely understand," sez Gene, "and will be happy to make a trade."

Visibly relieved, the boys offer their fish and poles in place of the
much steeper original bet.

Gene wipes his knife off, settles back in the hammock, waits the
arrival of bigger and fancier game. From fishing poles he trades to
pool cues (Ed throws the fish into the magnetic bottle, serves up a
fine supper to the now ravenous critters), from pool cues to car stereo
speakers. He does the odd "I Will Work For Food" gig, pulling out his
recently won hatchet and splitting up recently won logs as proof that
he's good for the sweat. Somehow he comes out of these deals with
quite a bit more than a sandwich.

It is only a matter of time, he hopes, before someone will trade with
him for a 'punk's Dream Upgrade: a dedicated T-1 connect direct to
Poly's Porch: a wide ocean of bandwidth, primo silk-smooth access in
which they can all float relaxed and content. And LOUD.

He leans back in the comfortable hammock on the road to Poly's Porch,
napping in his "spot" at last. Ed rocks the polycarbon rods to a
gentle rhythm, hums a glorious melody mortal ears have never overheard
while he plots new tracks through uncharted and unrouted C-hyperspace.
He promises to check in on Source, to scope out Poly's pie recipes, to
look out for Gene's pets and for the arrival of new prospects. He
enjoys a good scam as much as anybody else.


__
Gene OCD + "But it's so hard to get serious
ToastMaster, Sunday + about anything."
Twilight Breakfast Club + -- *Snow Crash*


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